If you saw our post about The Why Behind our Business, you know that we strive for our business to be about much more than pretty pictures. We want to impact marriages and make a difference in our couples’ lives. We want to be more than just wedding photographers, but an example of a successful marriage. We are nowhere near the “perfect marriage” (which by the way, there is no such thing) but we do know what has worked for us and may work for others! So this friends is where this series comes in: The Marriage Files. In this series, we share marriage advice and tips that have helped us throughout our marriage and strengthened the bond that we have. Whether it is advice that’s been given to us, or things that we found worked due to trial and error, we’re sharing all the things that edified our lives together and will hopefully help other couples strengthen their marriages as well! If you’re new to The Marriage Files, catch up with the first one here before you get started. If not, welcome back and here’s Part 5 in our series for couples and marriages! :)
The Marriage Files: Part 5
When you get married it’s absolute bliss, and being married is the most amazing thing ever, but it does not mean that it’s easy. You have two different people, with two different personalities, two different up-bringings, and you’re putting them together forever in a relationship. That, my friends, can be a huge challenge. We love being married and all of our best laughs and best adventures have been with each other but that’s not to say that there aren’t days that we disagree, days we argue, and days where we just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye. But you know what, that’s ok, because we understand that we are not going to agree on everything and we will get into arguments (sometimes about the most ridiculous things). That’s where our next piece of advice comes from: be quick to forgive! Vic and I try to practice this in our marriage, and I have to be honest and say that he’s definitely better at it than me! This, friends, is the ultimate key to making your marriage last and working through those hard times.
1. Know that your spouse WILL make mistakes
This first thing you have to realize is that your spouse will make mistakes! No matter how wonderful they are (and I can tell you from first hand experience because Vic is absolutely wonderful) they will mess up. They will say something wrong, they will do the wrong thing, and the first step in making it all work is understanding this. And guess what? You’re going to mess up too. Probably a lot! No one is perfect, and no marriage is perfect, so keeping that in mind will save you a ton of headaches and help in forgiving your spouse when arguments arise.
2. Forgive quickly
If your spouse offends you or hurts you, be the first one to forgive. It may take you three weeks to forgive someone after an argument (which many people tend to do), but it really is important to forgive them immediately. You do not want to be carrying around that burden of unforgiveness and put a strain on your relationship. Because believe me, it puts a huge strain on your relationship! It’s completely normal for you to take some time to cool off, but forgiving the other person quickly will not only make you the bigger person, but it will help remove any burden on your heart towards that person. Remember the 1st point about knowing your spouse will mess up and forgiveness will come easier to you.
3. Let it go
So you know your spouse messes up, you’re pretty good at forgiving them quickly, but you never let them live down what they did. That, friends, is another reason why marriages fail. I know it’s a bit harsh, but it’s true! Your spouses did something that hurt you 3 years ago and you still bring it up every chance you get. That is a problem! Just like the song, you have to let it go! Move on and move forward! If you keep bringing up the past, you’re going to be stuck in the past instead of moving forward with your relationship!
We hope this marriage advice helps those of you reading it! So remember, next time an argument happens be quick to forgive, let it go, and you’ll see what a relief it is and how happy you will be in your marriage! :)